Divorce is a crime aided and abetted by people who bill for 29 hours a day, and drive BMWs. The more reputable lawyers work for the drug cartels, charge by kilo and drive Mercedes Benz SLRs worth $500+ grand.

The fact that I ride a bicycle says something I guess, but my mother, an eco-warrior who drives a hybrid and has a PhD in spousal dysfunction, had recently informed me that my marriage wasn’t healthy. “Easter, he’s not right for you.” Easter – well any mother who named her daughter after a religious event involving cute rabbits dumping chocolate eggs was seriously off the chain but she was correct in this instance. I wish she’d make up her mind, last I heard my husband was The Man, wealthy, charming and dependable and I’d have a great life with him. Not so excellent in fact, because he was a bully, liar and thief and my life was total shit and the really scary bit was that even my mother noticed. I drank two bottles of cheap champagne and went to a solicitor the following day on my bike and now I know why lawyers drive expensive cars.

I held the latest letter from my legal team up to the light. Amongst the unintelligible legal jargon charged out @ $500 per hour, I think it listed the items I’d been awarded in my divorce settlement –

TO BE CONTINUED  … Want to read more ?  Let me know!